Ventingggggg.

I have no one to vent out on, so I’ll vent out on here. the girl I met in my new beginning. She seemed so perfect. Oh but I was wrong. She’s more than that. she’s beautiful, amazing, kind, sweet, funny, nice, extraordinary, and just plain out everything. I’ve never dated a girl before, but neither have I ever flirted with one. She had me hooked is because she liked my personality. she was okay with me being me, so I wanted to find more about her. Her name, I can’t say. but trust me, it’s a name that gives you butterflies everytime you hear it. Her talents? she’s a singer, pianist, dancer, actress, and many more. She seems like a girl that would be way out of my league, right? Yes, she was. but she didn’t let that  stop her from talking to me as much as I have to her. I thank God for that. As much of a goofball and fool I was back then to even attempt to get to know her, I found a way through to get to her. We got so much closer to each other, and we found out a lot about ourselves. She eventually asked me about an IDEA of a date we could go on, but I took it as an asking out kind of question. that’s where I, ME, fucked up. she always said you confused me about our ‘relationship’, but it was all my fault. telling everyone I was close to about us was the worst idea ever. that was the climax, and both of us had no way up again. we stopped talking, and I stopped showing I cared, so she stopped caring. that’s where I’ve messed up as well. I should’ve kept her with me and not have overreacted about 0327. I don’t know wether to be sorry to her or to myself, because I messed up two things. In my young and still growing mind, body, and soul, she remains my everything, and nothing can change that right now. I’ll always remember the times we shared, even if they werent that long or meaningful. I’ll always remember what she’s taught me, and how to love, because she was my first real love. It’s not that appropriate to say love, as I’m still 14. but it feels so right, and there’s no problem calling what I have for her a strong word, because what I feel for you is a strong force. I need you to understand me, and at least show me that I’m not the only one that still cares for one another in our lost bond. please show me a sign, anything, that proves that my feels are not pointless, and that I should do something about it. I don’t know anymore if I can deal with all the bullshit I put myself through, but with you though, it’s quit different.